


peanut butter haters and genius list-makers

by illuminated_in_darkness



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Arrow Family, Fluff, Gen, POV Felicity Smoak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illuminated_in_darkness/pseuds/illuminated_in_darkness
Summary: Felicity is proud of her list-making abilities. Sure, Oliver's dad made one targeting the richest people in Starling. But her growing list on weird things the team's done (#103 is a doozy) is just a masterpiece of glorious aesthetic. But that's beside the point. 
What is the point is that someone on the team has been targeting her and Felicity is determined not to let this explode into a full out prank war. (Because she will win. Obviously.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> A short fluffy character study on the dastardly genius that is Felicity Smoak. Canon is disregarded. Hope you enjoy!

To Felicity, the Foundry is a sacred place. No matter how many times she tells Roy not to leave his arrows all over the place, or reminds the Team that there is a corner of the room designated for bloody wounds and not the corner with her computers. The Foundry (or Arrowcave, she calls it when Oliver isn’t in earshot) is a place where she can entertain herself by hacking illegally and stressing over her newfound family fighting thugs on a regular basis. Loads better than her day job. 

That is until Roy initiates a prank war. It’s one-sided. He usually attacks then remembers the lists Felicity has posted near her computers. (PEOPLE YOU SHOULD NOT CROSS, one list says, the other PEOPLE MOST LIKELY TO KILL YOU. Sometimes Felicity adds villains just to spice things up a bit, but the lists are mostly reliable. There are days when she moves her name farther up the list because gosh darn it, she is a bad-donkey motherchucker. Then Roy gives her a pitying glance and puts it back where it was. Maybe that’s why he decides to focus on her after a failed prank on Diggle that will never be spoken of again, may his boxers rest in peace.) 

It starts with little pranks. One day after three hours of researching, she opens the team fridge for anything that will fuel her. She jolts backwards then scowls as Roy walks by, smirking. Oliver told the entire team that she was deathly allergic so how does replacing all the food with Mr. Peanut bottles provide a source of amusement?

She shoves her glasses up her nose. Strike one, Roy, she thinks. Strike one.

 

“Hey Felicity, can you hand me that bottle of Gatorade?” Oliver asks, leaning against the desk. She thinks that his eyes twinkle with something like, what, merriment? but she grabs the bottle anyway to give him only to find purple liquid suddenly dripping down her beautiful sandals. Taking a deep breath and praying for patience, Felicity examines the bottle and gingerly pokes a hole. Then another. 

She looks over at Oliver, who is grinning like a little kid.

“Laugh all you like,” she mutters. “You have failed this Felicity.” 

He rolls his eyes in response and turns away.

Strike two. 

 

Strike three comes late at night where she should really be comfortably asleep in bed but is instead questioning her life choices. Tired and cranky, Felicity plops down in her ultra-deluxe spinning chair, twirls a little, then presses the enter key on her keyboard. 

Instead of the screen asking for her password, Pac-Man shows up. Seven pink ghosts hunt down a green Pac-Man who hurriedly chases down arrows. She doesn’t even want to know who designed those graphics.

But this is the last straw. They have messed with her computers. No one messes with her computers. And for Roy to assume that she has been chasing after Oliver after all of this time is beyond insulting.

Thus she calmly leaves her once-sanctuary, heads to the grocery store to pick up a six-pack of beers, and knocks at Roy’s door.

“So Roy,” she says as she walks in, concealing her smirk. "Do you remember that one time when . . . ?"

"Not #103!" he shrieks from inside.

 

The next morning brings a bit of a headache, which is totally okay considering the victory that awaits her today. As soon as she can leave work at a reasonable hour, Felicity rushes over to the Foundry. 

Oliver, Diggle, Thea and Laurel are all perched outside of the Foundry entrance bickering when she approaches.

“I told you,” Oliver growls, “that I had an override code.”

“Well, try it again man because it’s not working,” says Diggle. They all notice Felicity.

“Hi guys!” she says, smiling brightly. “What’s going on?”

“We can’t get in,” Laurel says, eyeing her suspiciously. “And Roy texted Thea saying that he was locked in there.”

“Back away, back away. Let the queen of technology enter her realm.” Felicity waves a hand imperiously and quickly enters her override code, which can override all the override codes, even Oliver’s. They run down the stairs then . . . stop.

Roy is gagged and strapped to Felicity’s chair, hair sprayed neon pink and green. His hoodie is bedazzled and now bright pink. Attached to his bonds is a tube hooked up to a bottle of Gatorade, and by his hands are exactly twelve packages of Mr. Peanut’s peanuts. His eyes frantically land upon Felicity before he groans and Thea dashes to where he sits.

She can feel the rest of the team’s stares. She knows that they are all examining her in a new light. Serves them right. She has played some horrid pranks in her time, and this isn’t even close to the worst.

Thea finishes untying Roy, who rips off his gag and gasps, “I’ve only had salty peanuts and gatorade for the past eight hours . . . I have to pee so bad,” before making a beeline to the bathrooms.

“Did you do this?” Oliver asks quietly, eyes lit with a newfound respect. 

Felicity shrugs. “Nobody messes with my computers.”

 

The next day, Felicity Smoak jumps five spaces on the DO NOT MESS WITH list.

**Author's Note:**

> A short snippet of #103:
> 
> Roy freezes and groans as Felicity approaches with a wide grin.
> 
> "Well, I was just going to head out for the night but it appears that _someone_ has gotten himself into a difficult situation."
> 
> He clings to the post, huffing with the exertion. "I get it, alright? I got stuck. It's very funny, but can you figure out some way to get me down? These grooves on the edges are too steep for me to climb down. Plus the heights thing is suddenly wigging me out."
> 
> She walks over to the salmon ladder and stares up at him. Felicity pokes the metal bar that rolls away on the ground, another reason that Roy cannot simply climb down.
> 
> "Maybe we should just call Oliver. Or Diggle."
> 
> Roy groans. "That'd be admitting weakness."
> 
> Felicity glares in his general direction before setting down her purse on the lab table. " _Or_ showing that we are strong enough to know when we need help."
> 
> Sweat slides down Roy's face as he fervently shakes his head. "Nah. Defeat and weakness and all that."
> 
> She purses her lips, smooths down her skirt, and eyeballs the metal structure. "You are so going to owe me, Roy Harper."
> 
> _Two hours later . . ._
> 
> "I hate you," she says, voice muffled and cheek plastered against the frame as she wraps herself around it like a koala. "I really, really hate you."
> 
> "Hey, don't you have that panic button in your shoe?"
> 
> "Now who's admitting defeat?" she snarls, hand edging for the boot. "Dig's never going to forget about this."


End file.
